[unbreakable//]

getting out of tj

2007-11-30T19:14:00.000-08:00

thurs was like the craziest day ever. rush back from camp to go the children's cancer foundation in tj. pokky was singing so we went to support. michel, his friend, eugene, justin, one friend (forgot his name), kenny, anh and i. the concert wasnt too bad.. the fun started AFTER everything was over. here's what happened..

all of us went up to the roof to take photo. we went to the one right outside the 3rd floor staff room. we did many crazy poses and tdid crazy things like hide from kenny while he was on the phone (courtesy of anh). heh. we jumped flat on our bellies when the vice principal suddenly appearred outside the TRC. he probably didnt see us. then some of us had to commando crawl to the more stable concrete roof.totally crazyy. i'll upload the pics another time. when we went back, kenny did something super lame... he hid in the recycling bin.... -.-'''

we soon realised that it was late and we were locked in school... we went down to the 2nd floor corridor only to realise that it was dark and all the exits were sealed off. the lift wasnt working and our only other option was to jump. we wanted to jump from the ladder above the pond but it was too dangerous. i was freaked out. totally freaked out. while we were walking around the corridor looking of an opened shutter in the dark, michel said some stuff which scared me even more. i couldnt even turn around to look for anh... ended up... nvm. anyway, pokky found that the shutters to the TA block wasnt locked so we managed to exit thru there.

then we faced another problem, the exits were all locked too. we climbed by the railings past the shutter, (dangerously) hanging on the ledge of the 2nd story. haha. no la. it was fun. he help each other get past. phew. another obstacle down. michel and kenny then went to the washroom. after that we made our way to the front gate, avoiding cameras on the way.

okkk... another obstacle. getting out of tj. i'm glad for the rotating gate cos they have a flat surface. i crossed after and and kenny. but i couldnt jump, too high. i was supposed to grip the spikes on the left but i couldnt take the risk of slipping or the spikes will go thru my head. i felt that i might slip and my senses about my inabilities are usually accurate. so... troublesome me was stuck.. argh. in the end eugene had to cross past me and try to catch me while i slide off. one of his friend, weng i think, came up and held on. i managed to get off unhurt and in one piece although my heart was beating so fast i thin it was vibrating. haha. this time, we really GOT OUT OF TJ. but it was so funnnn!!!!! haha.

finally could have supper but it was alr 1130pm so anh and i went home first. heh.

you all are not blind, and neither am i dumb. i know you know, because you saw. i have nothing to say.

2nd day after a levels

2007-11-23T18:47:00.000-08:00

so sickening.. my nokia n73 suddenly decided to pms after my exams so now i technically dont have a Mcard in it although IT IS IN THERE!!! rarhhh.. now all the photos i've taken cannot be uploaded... rarhhh...

in the morning was somewhat on the com, somewhat slacking around the house. forgot what it felt like to waste time w/o feeling any guilt. IT FEELS GREAT!!! haha. met reinaldo [this is my botak brother, although now not botak alr] around 2 at tiong. he didnt have breakfast and lunch so we went for sakae buffet. so essentially, ytd i had two very full lunches... we then left for kenny's [my hairdresser, not boey or chen] shop around 4plus. SIGHHH... my hair is dead after dye-ing TOO many times so kenny suggested i wait until my this batch of over-dyed hair has been cut off before getting my purple colour... *SOB* got a hair cut only.. bro got this really cool cut.. but forgot its name.. WHEN MY PHONE IS REPAIRED I'LL UPLOAD THE PICS. haha. we sat around the shop for like 3hrs for bro's hair to be done. and the girl's hair was done faster! XD haha. we then rmb this email we got from jianfu sir so we started calling all the RC ppl to ask....... only to realise its RCY challenge 1st day. haha. but alot of ppl weren't there, it seems. haha. some still asked if we were at RCy challenge... comeon ppl.. we were doing manicure. haha. kidding lar.

went home to change shirt. bro followed me back. kenny was coming to fetch me go clubbing!! yes... its my first time can. have to start from somewhere. it least i'm going with someone who i can trust and who's patient with me.. oh. kenny doesnt refer to my hairdresser nor chen from tj nor my junior from tkd.. slowly guess. when i upload the pics [stupid phone] u'll know. anyway, my ambrose started getting gay and humping reinaldo's leg -.-''

kenny came in his back van. heh. ok, its a car... but looks like a van.. sent bro to clark quay then we made our way to MOS. nice place. big dark loud smokey. heh. so embarassing. left my IC with my entry proof which has disappearred somewhere so had to show the bouncer my ezlink -.-'''''''''''''' the picture didnt look like me to had to show another card with a better pic -.-'''''''''''''

when the crowd started coming in, i had alr downed my vodka. didnt feel like dancing so ordered long island. no idea whats that, jus drank. haha. i felt like a butch in the club can. the girls really looked like girls. in the shadows i looked like a really sized boy, given my attire. haha. dont know why but suddenly while dancing couldnt stand up straight so kenny dragged me off to the toilet.. its was a blur sia but my mind was still functioning. i had to hold on to the wall for support. SOMEHOW i dialled dede's number. dont know what i said lar. but i know he kept asking where i was and he was going to cab down to get me home. think i told him no need cos kenny was here anyway. went out the wrong exit. ended up in the techo section. thank God we walked in here jus now and i rmb how to get back. yes, in that state. haha. somehow he found me. then we went back to dancing and drinking. left at 1am. wanted to call alvin out for supper but he didnt pick up our calls so probably ko alr. couldnt really walk straight so was holding on to him in case i drifted off. in the car i also ko... but only for like a few minutes -.-''''' then felt better.

he sent me home, around 1.30?? yea. he came in for some water then AMBROSE STARTED HUMPING HIM TOO!!!! hiaz... my dog is gay. ambrose is gay.. [heh. ambrose sir, sorry. ambrose likes reinaldo and kenny] he left. i went to catch some much needed slp cos in the afternoon going to meet dede, his brother and his brother's gf. going to teach dede how to blade. hahaha.

last day of A's

2007-11-22T19:00:00.000-08:00

LAST DAY OF THE A'S !!!! WOHOO! SO HAPPY!!!

haha. was so exicted for the paper to end. then somehow the examiners took a LONG time to collect and count our papers... but it is finally over!! jumped up from my seat and when to hug crystal. so happy, i could have just screamed into her ear. oops.. heh. went to the stage with the rest of the click where we arranged to meet later. angel gave out her angels =]] so pretty (jus like her.heh)

in the toilet, i met hui lan, yikka and callista. they asked me to go out but i couldnt. so we promised to meet another day. then callist had to rush off to buy winter wear.

when everyone left (seriously, everyone. the school was empty except for the sweepers), anh and i went to do something EXCITING yet ILLEGAL... i think. we went to climb the roof!!! -.-''' anti-climax. haha. super fun can. we were at the TA block. from the roof can see tong's office door.. so if he had stepped out.. althought i think he wasnt in school anymore. we took some pictures then decided to clinb the other roofs of tj. guess where we climbed off next. for those in tj, right outside the staffroom on the 3rd floor... yeah. u get it. RIGHT OUTSIDE THE STAFFROOM. haha. but we climbed anyway. climbed all the way to lt2/physics lab that side. the view from there is amazing =]]] we took more pics then sat to enjoy the view. thanks anh =]] it was fantastic. imagine if we got caught and the teacher wanted to throw us out of school. haha. we ARE on our way out. haha

two years of agony, misery and pain are over!!! haha. ok la.. if not for the friends [i said FRIENDS. not backstabbers or twoface ppl] i met along this journey, it will be worse. at least now no more school we have more chances to hang out.. =]]

anh and i walked to the mrt where she took bus and i took train home. my phone had died on me.. reached tiong and called dad using the payphone. i still had my phonecard! had to walk around three phone booths, try and error, jus to figure out how to use it. IT BEEN A LONGGG TIME. haha. i jus felt like going up to someone to borrow their hp.. but nvm. look like and idiot going to the overseas call phone. haha. called dad. met him for lunch. went home. and he left for macau to join mum. freedom is really freedom. no examx. no parents around. YESSS!!!

showered changed and left to meet the clique at orchard mrt. some arrived alr, some still on the way. when lido to meet crystal, yanning, yuanjing, stef. yinglin and amanda came quite fast. and so did desriee and huiqi.. guess what. anh still sleeping.. heh. so we went in to watch stardust first. went out to get her when she came later. very nice show. amanda very funny. her expressions during the show very loud XD heh. after the show we walked around to find a nice place to take group photo. heh. ended up asking some passing tj boys to help us take. i'll post it up another time.. then i had to leave them *sob* and look for the others. huiqi and i left around 530pm.

went to ps to meet pokky, kenny, michel, alana, eugene, denise. pokky was second to arrive. his hair...omg.. so ah beng.. hahahahahaha.. kel and dorc suddenly appearred out of no where.. -.-''' they waited until kenny arrive cos kel wanted to know how he looks like.. -.-''' met vanessa while waiting.. her hair so cool. heh. kenny, mich, poke and i went to swensen for dinner after tossing a coin... -.-'' engene and alana joined us later. d came much later. we went arcade.. play like crazyy.. then hung around ps. we were outside the mrt when somehow some of them decided to like michel's badminton raquet plus shuttlecock and kenny's tennis raquet, AND PLAY RIGHT THERE!! like, in font of everyone... -.-''' nvm.. i ended up taking a video.. its was around 10plus when we left for home...

life after a's is great! =]]

jus some pics

2007-11-19T19:03:00.000-08:00

denise doing the jumps

youuu... supergirl flying =]]
-.-''
crazy sister

today in church 071007

2007-10-07T05:30:00.000-07:00

its 4days before my bday. last week i didnt go youth service cos decided to go 1st then go home to study. weizhen smsed me telling me to come to youth service today cos she wanted to celebrate my bday. i was intending to anyway. then this morning during cell, not even a hint. she didnt celebarte. hmmm... nvm. i was too preoccupied with my on-coming pms, current sleep deficit and school stress to worry about no celebration. although i have to admit i was diasppointed [initially]. i kinda almost fell asleep in service [alevels is the worst 2 years of one's life]. after service, wz said she wanted to have 5mins cell so we had to go to the back of hall9 to wait for her. alot of yoznet ppl were hanging around there so i jus went to chat with xiu shi's cell ppl. the yoz net ppl, many of them, started to congregating around a table so we jus moved over. oh mann... wz came over with a cake and everyone started singing. i was so touched, moved, surprised, astounded, elated, excited [go look up the thesaurus on your own] that i almost cried. but i jus smiled. then i had to stand a distant and use my huff and puff to blow out the candles. heh. i was subsequently surrounded and prayed for.
thanks so much guys. this celebration really means alot to me =] thank you yoznetters =]] thanks wz. thanks sally. thanks girls =]] love u all. *sniff* so happy. this yr, ppl actually remembered, it is the best present i can receive. God bless uuuuu.... XD

its jus like that

2007-09-03T09:09:00.000-07:00

today didnt do much. stayed at home to study with my sis. surpurisingly fun. like every other a level student, i feel the pressure and stress buliding. its worrying.. i'm not sure i can do as well as i did for a o's. argh. wadever.

anyway, on friday i meet up with my sec sch friends to return to stc to visit the teachers. when i was there, i knew deep in my heart i'll still be an ij girl no matter where i go (sounds weird, but ya). its those friends who made school meaningful. when i listen to the songs of high school musical, it really reminds me of the good times i had. deep inside, it pains me knowing that those days are long gone. the friends we now hold on to, are us trying to hold of to whats left of ourselves. what we once had and never want to lose. those 4 years which groomed us and made prepared us for today. no amount of preparation and training could ever help us to face our world today, but they[no, not teachers] did their best. we've survived this far. we will go on. yea. hide your feelings. thats the only way to move on

tough time dont stay, tough people do

2007-08-16T07:10:00.000-07:00

have you ever felt like the world has turned against you? like everyone around is an enemy?that it's you and only you?to fend for yourself.to stand tall.i know what it feels like.yet.do you know what it feels like.when enemies surround you.and you realise that friends are there.waiting.supporting.just there.comforting.standing beside.you know know how it feels.to be depressed and down.yet happy and comforted. at the same time. i know. i know because i am running two races at the same time.its not easy.but i will pull through.i will survive.i will emerge victorous.i will live.

when they hurt you

2007-08-06T07:34:00.000-07:00

when insecurity sets in
when fear grips you
when anguish plagues within
when you want to end it all
to end it
to survive through
to leave forever

and
to ensure your enemies never see the light of day

self release

2007-08-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

when the pain gets too great
when the fear takes control
sharp.razor.it touches.it slices
the line is straight
the cut is smooth
I finally feel it
the warmth
as it flows down my arm
it stains my clothes
I don't mind
it doesn't gush
just flows
pours
pain?
what pain?
there is none
maybe
from inside
my heart is bleeding
It hurts
It really does
help me.help me please
if only
those can flow out of my heart
out of my memory
if only
It can be as easy
to release It as it now flows
free from my wrist
down
to anywhere it was to
free
the red is becoming brighter
I breathe deeper
there is no silence!

2nd day

2007-07-10T03:46:00.000-07:00

now is the 2nd day into the 100k campaign. to go around giving out free blessings is not as easy as i thought it would be. the only thing i actually fear is rejection. who doesnt want free blessings? but yea, the first person i asked said she didnt need any. thank God the 2nd one was open to it. today so far none.. think i was too upset to do anything. my walk with God is like close yet i don't seem to be getting any closer to knowing Him more. sometimes i jus need strength and perserverence...

to the future

2007-07-01T21:16:00.000-07:00

told is a day where we're supposed to celebrate youth day. like go town and hang around with your friends.. haha. my interpretation. but, i'm stuck at home staring at the com waiting for tuition time to arrive. sianzz... ended mid yrs not too long ago. have been hard core playing since. its time to stop... FOR NOW. at least until after a's. i wanna go back to having fun. of wasting time and not bothering about my work.. i heard uni is not so stressful or tough. surviving every second of school for the next 9weeks will not be easy but i'll pull thruogh. i'll succeed and emerge victorous! ha!

i wanna run away and never retuen
i wanna sleep and never wake up.

To the friends I lost along the way

2007-06-22T23:16:00.000-07:00

When I finally stop
to pause
to catch a breath
to look around
to count
I see many
but none
I see but what was
What may never be
What I feel is not anymore
I felt
How I long
to return
to cherish
to smile
once again
my heart is empty
my soul is lost
the bonds I had now lost
forgotten
I still remember
do you?

2007-04-04T08:50:00.000-07:00

AHEM AHEM !

I'LL LIKE THE ATTENTION OF THE CLASS !

LOL !

I HELPED MY SIS DO HER BLOG.

HAHA.

ALTHOUGH NOT SO GOOD, STILL BETTER THAN NOTHING LUH.

:D

2006-09-07T06:10:00.000-07:00

hello to those who have been reading my blog... (or at least haven't given up) haha
actually, I've not blogged for such a LONG time that I forgot my password. I finally recovered it!!! yeahh!! the links may not be all correct so please correct me if I'm wrong. I've also updated my wishlist and details (finally). frankly, I've been keep a diary because I see no need to announce my day to the world. I havent been about to write both though. haha. busy life. its jus mugging... JC life is not smooth sailing, it will be the worse two years of your life. my sec 4 bio teacher prepared me for it, although it still came as a shock. Two months of honeymoon in SERANGOON JUNIOR COLLEGE [SRJC!!!!] made me think jc life is all fun and happiness. now that i'm in tj i understand what hell means. now, i'm not saying that its a burning inferno in there, there are nice people but the environment is different. maybe SR changed after the 1st two months but i want to remember SR the way my friends there gave those precious memories to me. That is home. they are family.

[TyL]

wow

2006-07-30T07:27:00.000-07:00

its been a LONg LONg time since I last touched my blog. dont think anyone is reading though. haha.
the past few months haven't been easy for me. I have had to adjust to an unknown and far away environment, both in school and church, and had to make a tough decision which would break many people's hearts. my school is some much more stressful than STC or SRJC. everyday is a constant struggle...

Now a new place

2006-05-03T00:56:00.000-07:00

Its been AGES since I last blogged. I've been through so so much changes that its so tough to actually record them down. I went through my transition from Serangoon JC to Temasek JC, and I have to say that it hasn't been easy for me. Not at all. I wanted to transfer back to SRJC but my mum would never allow me to. I wanted to appeal into SAJC but my mum would never let me. I felt so lost, so unwelcomed. mum told me that it was God's plan to put me into Tjc as i prayed really hard and there was no way He would give me the resuls I have and yet miss out by one point. ... wait have to go for cca now... come back later

Thank you Lord

2006-02-14T07:38:00.000-08:00

I thank God for my results He has so graciously blessed me with. Although I do fear that I may not get into my dream school despite my results, I do believe in His plans for me. Whatever it is, where ever He leads me to, I will follow and I will trust. Thank you, Lord, once again. I do hope I am able to enter my dream JC. Thank you too, for my temporary 1st 3 months JC. I am glad to leave, at the same time I am somewhat reluctant. I have enjoyed myself so much; many friends and many sweet memories... ...

short short messy post

2006-01-17T05:36:00.000-08:00

I'm blogging! again! finally! haha. I think Kor has given up on trying to ask me to blog. haha. surprise kor. haha
The Jc i am in... i shall not mention any name lest i get into trouble with the principal (why do I even care?) Is fun. The seniors and my Og friends are friendly and nice people. the teachers are somewhat acceptable. The academic sucks big time. hiaz. I really want to get out. I feel so reatricted there. Restricted. As though i know that here is more to learn but not all is being given to us. so demoralising...

hiaz. anyway, I decided to join council and rock climbing. I joined council upon request and rocmoc upon passion. hope i can cope. mark will suffer with me. muahahahaha... the training was tough. stretching was not too bad. circuit was a killer. ENDURE. luckily mark, des and king were there to motivate me or i think i would have given up half-way. thanks guys. the other reason why i endured is cos i was wearing a certain yellow shirt with -victorian- behind it. couldn't let the school down could I? Throw the face of my cousin's and brother's school. haha. after that took cab home, slept late and woke up aching all over...
lectures are plain boring... the bio teacher is crazy... the others are not too bad. GP is scary. I'm still deciding between biology and physics...

sorry this entry contains scattered info. I'm super tired from all the activities...

I will leave...

2006-01-09T05:56:00.000-08:00

I don't like it there
my new JC
the people are nice
but my heart, my mind is somewhere else
somewhere far
somewhere presently unreachable
I will reach there
I will

I will leave here
I will
The time will come
The results
Results
I will follow my heart
God will see me through

After 10 weeks of singing
-your call is ours too-
We will start to sing
-thy sons are we-
What JC do I passionately wish to enter?
I just told you

For now, I will give it my all
Physics or Biology
I will sit for both
My heart belongs elsewhere
I will go
Together, my friends
We will
We will

God will see us through this time
I know he will
He has answered us before
Why not now?
He will
He has a plan for us
Just wait and see

For now, I'll just have to survive in this JC

New Zealand

2005-12-12T16:42:00.000-08:00

I'm back from middle earth!! It was great! fun! amazing! awesome! terrific! remarkable! Went there for two weeks. We didnt want a tour cos we didn't like to stick to others' timing so my poor dad had to drive everyday for two whole weeks. Thanks dad. Went to south island. Its beautiful. In singapore we have nothing but HDB flats and more HDB flats. They have mountains, vast greeny, breadthtaking waterfalls and the occasional clear lakes. I would call New Zealand's beauty heaven on earth. Probably our Eden. They have more sheep and cows than they have people. An agriculture country. No wonder they are super strict with what we bring into the country. In sg, our airport dogs sniff drugs while theirs sniff out food stuff. Interesting.

28/11
Today is major screw-up day. First, the woman from Raffles travel agency told my mum that we had to report to terminal 1 when we had to go to terminal 2. Crap. shit her! We finally boadred the train after having a short meal in the airport. During the 10 hours flight, I dozed in and out of consciousness as my mind and body was out of sync due to the 4 hours time change. I started to have motion sickness and couldn't sleep initially. I think I dozed off for a few hours until I saw the sunlight streaming through the windows. At that time, they started to serve breakfast. After a few bites, I started to feel neutaous. My mood was completely dampened. We left the plane with me sickly following behind. We checked out without much problems and moved on to the counsel to retrive our bags. To our dismay, our bags had not appeared. The baggage attendant was efficient in dealing with the problem and quickly radioed the people to find another baggage box. There was none. He quickly directed all of us to the 'baggage service' to report our about 30 missing bags. We were tired, frustrated and agiatated. All we had was what we had hand-carried along. Not even one of our two bags could be found. No fresh change of clothes, no handphone charger.... There airport staff said that he would contact us to send us our baggage once they received it but we were moving daily. Mum and dad's phone battery may not last that long with out the battery charger. We remembered that when we were checking in at Singapore, the conveyer belt was stuck. Somehow, the luggages did not come through. As they said, the problem originated from Singapore International Airport, supposedly one of the best in the world. they having some funfair there. We are suffering in New Zealand without our survival items. It is not like we are going to Malaysia, a very familiar country to us, and can easily survive without much. New Zealand is a new place to us, our first time here and these kind of things can happen. It is tough to survive.
In my sickness and anger, I heard God talk to me while on the domestic flight from Aulkland to Christchurch. We had not prayed before we left neither did we pray when we had lost our baggages. He wanted to show us something, He wanted something to happen; He had a plan. It was difficult to survive but we managed to scrape through. When we had settled in the motel, my family and I sat down to pray. I knew for a fact that our items were lost but I felt a sense of peace once we started praying. I felt fear that we would never find our baggage yet I knew God would not allow something like this happen to us.
Also, I knew He wanted to throw us into this petatic situation to make us, this family, closer together. He wanted to bond us together; we had no one else. I had not been excited about this trip as I did not like the idea of being with just my family. I could not see much fun in it; I had not wanted to go. Now, I know that God is trying to bring us, one family, closer. To show that in such a situation, I only had my family to rely on. No one else.

29/11
We took a train from Christchurch to Greymouth which lasted about 4 hours.Being the clasuterphobic me, I could not sit still. Our seat was by the window and some table. Luckily, we were allowed to stand at the back of the train to take photos- I spent most of my time there. The temperature was not very low but the wind due to the moving train made it extremely freezing. Most of the eurasians never stayed there for as long as my sister and I did. I totally disliked the enclosed inner train space. We kept snapping photos of the amazing New Zealand scenery and we passed each one. Soon, I was to realise that what we passed was mountains, forests and farmland. Occasionally, we did pass some streams. My camera cannot fully capture the beauty of NZ. One must be there to see the wonders of God's creation with one's own eyes and touch and feel the place. We finally reached greymouth after a long 4+ hours of journey.
We finally landed in greymouth; no, not green, grey. Not nose, mouth. haha. We went to collect our rented car and went for lunch at some Hong kong resturant. big insult to HK food. It was a traumatic meal. The food was horrible I dared not even eat the rice. yucks. I learnt my lesson, NEVER eat chinese food in european countries. Anyway, after that we booked into our motel and went to some shopping centre to buy some clothes and whatever we needed to survive. We then went to see the pancake rocks. Very magnificient views. wonderful. I took many pictures. I've uploaded one on my blog. In the evening we went to subway for dinner. Went we returned to our motel our small luggage had arrived!!!! =) so happy.

30/11
The wake-up time was supposed to be 7am but we looked so tired mum decided to be nice and woke us at 9am. I, as usual, woke up the latest. As I rushed aound getting ready, mum did some last minute packing. We left kinda late in the morning for Fox Glazier. Its a mini sentosa. really mini. Physically big but not much attractions. Overall I have to say that it was nice. We wanted to take a helicopter ride up to the glazier, touch the ice, take some pictures and come down not frozen. The weather, however, was not good so we ended up walking to one of the nearby glaziers. My mum told us to pack summer clothes and a jacket but it was freezing there. The temperature was reasonable, 12 degrees. But the wind was chilling. Took many pictures then left for dinner. We returned to our hotel to find that our big luggage had come in. yeah!!! now we have everything. anyway, at dinner. Their food portions are huge. We ordered two plates and shared it among four of us. wow. the europeans have a plate each. At night was very funny. We went to see the glow worms in the darkness. Quite interesting. Something like fireflies. One tour group walked into the forest with us in a train. One guys happily went to hide somewhere and jumped out to scare everyone. haha. The men screamed the loudest. They screamed. haha. We returned to our hotel tired and sleepy. My sis and I were in one room while my parents in another. kelly needed something so she talked thru the wall to mum. Through the hotel wall, it went something like this...
Kelly: Mummy? Mummy! can u hear me?
Mum: Yes? Yes? what?
kelly: have you boiled our water? I can't switch the boiler on.
mum: I boiled it already. You can drink it straight. Just put the water and close it, it will boil on its own.
kelly: orh ok. where is my waterbottle? I need it.
mum: Its in the blue bag.
kelly: where??? orrhhh... here...
Mum: nevermind nevermind. aiya. I come over now.
very funny to see them running across the rooms. the other guests must have been wondering what the racket is about. HAha. We finally settled everything and got some much needed sleep.

1/12
We woke up, Packed and left for queenstown. Queenstown is the adventure land of NZ. My kind of place.

2/12
Location: Queenstown
Queenstown is almost like our orchard road but its not much for shopping. It is, however, bustling with activity. The night before we had gone shopping for soveniers and gifts for our friends. In the morning we rushed for the jet boat which mum booked for the night before. We were a little late but managed to sit the jet boat. We had a great time especially when the driver did the famous 360 degrees turn. unfortunately for me, I was sitting at the right of the boat. The right was the wrong side to be on. I got most of the splashes. It was FREEZING!!! wet and with the wind blowing against u... oh gosh. how did i survive it??? our guide cum driver was very funny
Guide cum driver: This boat moves by taking in water and pushing it out at high speeds. Later we are going to pass some shallow water and if the boat doesnt get the water it needs u guys will have to go out and do a little push. Dont worry guys, only your feet will be in the 4 degrees water. When we pass, u may hear some scratching sounds but it is just the rocks underneath. If the water is too shallow, the boat can still cross but it will get scratch. Don't worry. Its not your boat neither is it mine so as far as I'm concerned it doesn't matter.
The driver stopped us at some jetty to take a helicopter up to the theme park. They called it a pak. hmmm... I traded my wet jacket with mum to that I could warm up. The helicopter ride was exciting. =) =) up at the pak, my sis and I went to play the Luge 4 times. so fun!!!! haha. We were like some hell drivers. later we took the gondola (cable car) down.
heheez. 10 mins Late for hangliding. paisae. luge was too fun. We drove to the handgliding location behind the van which carried the rest of the players. It started to drizzle but we went on anyway. The instructors were friendly and nice. I think they were nice to my sis and I cos we were small and seen as children. I was 2nd to be flown up. I was the most shiok thing I had done in NZ. The feeling of flying in the air, high up above the rest, feeling the wind in your face. wow. I learned to turn left and right and how to make the roller coaster effect. There was an instructor beside me cos it was all our first time. I uploaded a pic in friendster. heheez. Only my sis and i went, my parents were not "young enough to try such things". ??? according to my mum... since we were not with the coach, we wanted to leave first so the instructors rushed to get our pictures downloaded. bought the pictures CD at 30 NZ bucks. expensive but worth it.
We had Dinner at a jap resturant. fantastic food. They only decent asian food we found in NZ. It was more than decent, it was better than sg's jap food.

I'm going for breakfast now.. later than blog about the rest of my trip. patience, kor.

rushing for time

2005-11-26T06:51:00.000-08:00

Today, day after prom, I'm feeling super exhausted. Since the o's started I've been missing out on MUCH sleep. even after the o's I did not have much chance to catch up on my sleep. Yesterday graduation ceremony and prom. Weaaring high heels, dress and attemping to walk elegantly wore me out.
This morning supposed to meet mark and david sir at kembangan mrt at 11am. Somehow i overslept and reached at 1130. worst, I thought we were supposed to meet at dobhy ghaut. I'm super blur... We went to cafe cartel for lunch. so full!!! argh... so scary, sit in front of sir. traumatised because of accred. well, its the job of a VI. we then went to play pool. I trashed mark 3 times!!! YEAH!!! haha... he did trash me a few times. later, Liam came...I rushed for something then after that rushed for network meeting. after meeting yj and I went to meet mark, liam and sir. intro them to eugene, jon low, isaac and tim. they happily told me tim's name is jon found out that sir got called back so we went to see him off then returned to tc. Yj darling and I were singing campfire songs all the way back. haha. purple lite... in the valley... haha
we met 3sa the n walked thru some secret entrance. haha. during worship we ran down to worship. sorry for pulling u down, mark. heheez. halfway mark left so i sent him off. end up getting locked outside. my darling had to go open the door for me. thanks yj. I miss home [home=tct]...
after service went for dinner with wei zhen ma, yj darling and pei shi yoshi. i didnt eat. too full. we wanted to go macs for dessert but al of us were too full. haha. took bus and mrt home with wz. talked to her about some stuff. yar. nzip. met mu fetched me from tiong. went home exhausted. packed some stuff then went to wash up.
tmr leaving for new zealand at 10pm. first time i so unwilling to go on hoilday. i guess i'm so tired i dont want to leave singapore. i hope it will be an enjoyable trip. hiaz... sad. i'll be back for the big move, at least.

R'oo dzrg uli blfi ivgfim. Dv nrtsg nvvg blf dsvm f ivgfim.

2005-11-25T08:59:00.000-08:00

super short post.

O's are OVER!!!
YEAH!!! haha

Highlighted my hair copper brown red at the back and copper gold at the front.
I like my hair colour

Red Cross Rox!

-End!-

late entry

2005-09-02T14:21:00.000-07:00

Since the spook show, its been one week before i can blog about it. really no time to sit down and blog. now got abit of time so here goes.

Supposed to meet Shaun, Shane, Mark deon, 3sa, alex and Pak at city hall mrt at 530pm. When I reached city hall, shaun told me that he and shane were somewhere in suntec. suntec is very big -.-'' told himi would find him once i met the rest. deon had music class so he would met us later. the station was SO crowded. probabaly with the church people. 3sa and alex came first. Mark called and confirmed the place. I told him that its very crowded so if he can't find us or we can't see him (for obvious reasons. hee), he is to jump and wave. haha. he came out and spotted us almost immediately. I pointed out his senior among the crowd and mark wanted to go over and say hi. In the end he didn't. HAHA! Pak sms me and said that he was still at home. When i called and scolded him, he said that he was with some friends. dont care alr. we called shaun, roughly tried to figure out where he was and started our journey there. Mark then continued listening to his mp3. hmmm... so unfriendly, go out with friends still listen to music. He miss his deon. ha... Met my junior along the way. She said that the person walking next to me (mark) is quite suai... -.-''' no comments. Finally, we managed to find shaun at the nike shop. Shane was wearing this Billabong camp which made his glasses stand out even more. There was this shane look-alike behind him and i thought they had met a friend on the way. However, the two brothers were not doing any introductions so i thought it was just another customer walking behind shane. another customer... so i ignored him. oops. I was still upset with pak for tell me last mintue that he would be late. Then mark said,'' Pak''. (o.O) ohhh... so the 'another customer' is actually pak. oops... heheez. I didnt recgonise him. He changed alot after 2 years. handed shane his super late birthday gift. while walking to the convention hall, deon came. PoSeR... haha. we gave him his birthday presents and i unknowingly left kor's girt in the plastic bag. He saw it but happily kept quiet. we walked around to find a place to eat. In the end Shaun ate subway and the rest of was watched him. haha. We then rushed up to the convention hall. Actually, I tried to rush but everyone calmily walked. Met mum and dad along the way. Tried to intro everyone but (acording to mum and dad) they were trying to hide behind each other. We entered the hall. I wanted to sit in front so that we could get a good look at the tricks but the rest wanted to sit behind. We sat somewhere really behind. Before the show started, we talked alot of crap and changed places quite a few times. I saw their senior again. Cant remember what exactly we crapped about but i remember pak telling us that he is in Sp. hmmm... donno who said that he had a IJ Tp gf in sec 4. Shuan and I were so shocked, donno which girl would want him. hahah. ok, i'm being mean. When Shane took out his falling apart present (I'm not good with wrapping presents), I remembered about shaun's. When i asked deon he happily said that he noticed, was wondering what it is about but never ask me. Hiaz, can't blame u. u and 3sa in your own world. pak went off to buy some food. he came back to find his seat taken ( we changed places. haha) show started. this year's trick are nicer but last year's storyline was much better. through out the whole show pak kept eating. he eat so much still cannot put on weight. I try ont to eat so much still putting on weight. not fair... some tricks were abit fake others pastor needed more practise.after the show pastor prayed for us. He prayed ''... ernestly..." heheez. thank God there were many salvations. God is always there to bless our harvest events. after the show we went off for supper. went to bk. crapped alot more. then mark chocked on his fries. pak didnt signal for help so i didnt think it was anything severe. i think we stayed until very late cos we were asked to leave. my crazy sister called me ONCE, couldnt get me, then called mark. .... outside bk, we took a few photos. Deon and 3sa took a few together. so Sweet!!! so loving! haha. really... we walked back to the mrt station. the rest went home but i had to meet my sis so i waved them goodbye. waited so long for her so i decided to go home myself first. mum called me and said that she and dad were waiting for me in tiong. I was simultaneously smsing kor, mark, pak and alex (my cousin, not liam) until my dad found out and got angry. We sent yj home and by the time i reached home it was alr round 1am. next day still have church at 9am, at suntec convention hall. Zzz...

had service the next day. the worship was fantastic but throughout sermon i was smsing mark and mum cos i last mintue heard this word form God to invite david sir. really. after service i rushed to kembangan to meet mark. I found out something, i can run and sms at the same time without slowing down or falling down. met mark and we walked to his church. sir still look the same to me, mark said he changed alot. still look so strict. i damn scared, donno how mark can just call him david. after service igreeted him formally then the 3 of us walked about to the mrt station to get back to city hall. throughout the ride we kept suanning mark. heheez. i was looking for alex (my cousin) then i found him standing around somewhere. haha,. gave him his ticket then the 4 of us walked up. the queue was so long. we waited... and waited. marcus offered to reserve seats for us. yeah! thanks. we were looking out for jorin ma'am; couldnt find her. marcus and yj said that they say their senior around somewhere. of all things they had to tell me that. crazy sisters... the doors finally opened. the seats were somewhat infron but too corner so still couldnt see much. david sir left halfway while pastor was talking about Christ. I hope he isnt angry. A seed is planted, we just have to water it and let God take control. Mark left with him. Atfter the show, alex, marcus and i went to swenson's to eat. yj left with her mum. Alex and marcus ended up footing a big portion of the bill. not fair!!! i only paid $10.10 anyway, i went home with marcus and mugged. haha...

that's all for my sat and sun. detailed recount will be kept tp my personal diary. something jus cannot be announced on the internet. heheez

(marcus is my sister,kelly)

Facing your past is painful but necessary, and unavoidable

2005-07-19T05:51:00.000-07:00

Its been a long time since I last blogged. No time to do anything other than to do homework and study. Hiaz... anyway, my dad is out of the hospital now. Thank you all for you care and concern. You have helped me pull through this time. My dad's intestines were inflammed and twisted but he's better now; on antibiotics.
Special thanks to:
GOD our father
Wei Zhen (my spiritual mummy)
My real mummy
Alex Tan (my future child's godfather)
Gladys
Madeline
Adeline
Shaun
Mark
(if I never mention your name, its not that I've forgotten you; thank you too)

Coming back to school and starting the engine again isn't easy for me now that things are gonig faster as the o's are drawing nearer. I'm feeling stressed right now, I think I'm going to put on weight... (-.-''') anyway, I'm glad that I had the chance to go out and play last saturday with my Rc friends. So fun! haha.
Shaun wanted to bowl so we decided on SAFRA Mt. faber ( it was after the chlorine gas incident). We arranged to meet in Tiong and my dad would drive us there. When I reached tiong I couldnt find them so i called mark.
Me: Hello Mark, where are u guys?
Mark: We are in Popular. Not my fault, shaun wanted to go. His fault. All Shaun's fault...
Me: (-.-''') ok I'm downstairs already
Mark: Not my fault...
I'm not going to blame you (like I did in EDC) mark... haha...
The next second Mark, Shaun and Alex were dashing down the elevator. haha. when introducing them to my dad I accidentally called alex shane. oops... now shaun has another brother. We met deon and 3sa at Safra. The bowling lanes were full and the pool room was not open yet so my big brudda starting looking for an arcade. Sometime later, we went in to the unlocked pool room and some guy quickly came to the counter. We played murder or murderer... ??? We played pool then bowling then pool again... During the second round of pool Shaun kept trying to distract mark. --> Remind him of samuel. haha. Markie... haha. getting goosebumps? heheez...
heheez... anyway kor, u can't distract me. So far, nothing can. after that we went to tiong for lunch (deon left for church alr). Mark and shaun complained that girls dont wear OBS shirt and that i'm too boy... I'm considered quite girl in school... (-.-''') We had lunch in bk. After that, Shaun left for church and mark for home. Alex and 3sa came to my church. Yeah! =) thanks guys! after church i returned to tiong for dinner with my family.
All in all, I had a great time... too much to go into detail; I'm a very detailed person. haha

Daddie...

2005-07-09T07:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not writing this because my friends (namely Shaun) keep asking me to update my blog...

I feel so lost, so down, so helpless... My dad, in the process of serving the nations, went to Nias for mission trip. He took all the necessary medicitaion and jabs. We prayed daily for him, I fasted for him. When he returned safetly, we all were so relieved. Now, his safe return is not as safe as it seemed. He had been having abdominal pains for the past few days. Doctor initally gave his some medicien to counter the pain cos she herself didnt know what he was suffering from. His fever continued to rise that today doctor admitted him to A&E. Until now, even the doctors in Glenneagles are not sure what is wrong with him. I'm going to visit him later... Tomorrow they are going to put him through scope. He seems alright... but the pain comes on and off. When it comes on, it pains me to see the suffering he is going through. During my 15-16 years of knowing him, my father is someone who is able to withstand all types of pain. My parents have a high threshold for pain. I don't know how long he will be in the hospital but I hope he will be out soon

God of power, mercy and healing, I beg of you. Please heal my daddy. I miss him...

-gsilfts gsrh, r droo pmld dsl droo hgzmw yvhrwv nv zmw dsl droo mlg-

YozNet camp

2005-06-19T02:08:00.000-07:00

I back from my 3D2N church family bonding camp specially for Ps Yolanda's network. It was great! In the spiritual way. More slack than Red Cross camps, obviuosly, and I wasn't used to it. haha. So used to getting up before sunrise, rush to get ready, raise flag and sweat the whole day through. In this camp, we have morning call at 7.30am, breakfast at around 8am and after which sit in an air conditioned hall for almost half the day. Big difference from the camps I'm used to.
To get on with the details of the camp itself. We learnt a new warfare dance; a dance to worship God with our actions and bodies and at the same time fight the devil. So cool! Really felt God presence with us as we danced, jumped and sang. On the 2nd day we had some games and all of us got really wet. haha... I had flour all over my face. I think God presence was the strongest on the night of the second day. The 12 leaders under Ps Yo went around to bless us with pure water. God's blessings are plentiful, pure and ever flowing. My spiritual mother(mummy!) prayed for me. When she prayed, her words touched my heart and brought out things in me i never knew. I knew they existed in me but I never knew God understood too, I don't remember telling Him. He knew my desire to have my child-like faith back; that kind of faith and TOTAL dependance on Him. When I started tearing, my 'mummy' hugged me. That was where I felt God hugging me. Even though I cannot really feel God physically, I felt him telling me that even though he cannot hold me physically, He will be there to guide me through my life and when I'm down He will be there to hug me spiritually. When 'mummy' prayed for the peace of God onto me.... All I can say is that the Holy Spirit filled me and down I went (slain). God's spirit filled the room and no one was left out. On the third day we focused on worshipping God and on thanksgiving.
Belonging to a family makes a big difference. God bless

Short post

2005-05-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

I just came back form SAJC and Tjc after handing in my DSA form. I hope I get accepted into SAJC. I'm actually deciding between VJC and SAJC. Hiaz... my heart is so heavy now. My parents don't allow me to go for ULP campfire. I don't want to talk about it in myblog lest I get others into trouble. Heard different things from two different people. Never mind, I trust the instructor who told me not to go so here I am, in front if my computer instead of leaving the house. I wouldn't be nice to go and then say that another instructor told us that we can go. Hiaz... oh well...
At least I heard some good news today. my mum will be signing me up for the drum lesson during the holiday. I have to try the drums cos I can't sing or play the keybard or even the guitar. I'm tone deaf... I can sing a song out of tune and not even know the difference. haha. So lousy! haha...

Mid year exams

2005-05-18T12:10:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my last paper! Yeah! Biology paper 1, I'm going to memorise all the answers from the TYS. haha... after the paper still got some Review & relfection, then continue with normal school timetable. (o.O) when this was announced today everyone got a big shock. Right after mid-yr still got to check english, chinese and chemistry papers. Before we can enjoy our weekend, they make us feel so demoralised with our marks. Then if we fail we have to return to school during the june holidays to do the subjects we failed; one hour per subject. so if we fail 5 subjects then can have normal school day already, stay in school for 5 hours. must not fail anything... haha. I haven't finished my exams but i already planned what i'm going to do during the june holis (other than studying).

1) Learn how to play the guitar from ah ma (she's going to have a hard time teaching me, I play the left handed guitar)
2) Play basketball at least 2ice a week
3) Buy my friend's birthday present

That's all for now. haha. I'm just trying to use as much space as i can on my blog.

Sorry

2005-05-09T06:40:00.000-07:00

I never meant it. I think information was distorted and I chose to believe what was wrong. I'm really sorry. Pls forgive me.

alot

2005-04-27T04:25:00.000-07:00

Finally I have some time to blog! haha... I have been mugging for the past few days that I couldn't blog. This entry is going to consist of a few days' information.

Friday was the first time I ever felt what itwas like to be a sheep without a shepard and broken off from the entire herd. I always heard for thr term 'lost sheep' but I never really understood what it felt like to be the lost sheep. During chinese lesson, some go for malay, tamil, higher chinese while I, this one patetic person, go for CLB. After chinese lesson, my class had to attend this conference/talk but the Arabs. Miss Lee TT went to inform everyone except me. So, after chinese (it was supposed to be PE) I happily went to the hardcourt to wait for my class. After about 10 minutes for waiting I realised that they must have been somewhere else. No one from my class was there; not the malay girls, not the tamil girls... Even seeing ONE girl would have made things better. NONE!... none at all... I was walking to the school hall where the saudi arabia exhibition was held to look for my class when i saw one of my classmate on usher duty. She said that they werein the auditorium. Then miss Lee walked past, looked at me and said, " wo wang le ni (I forgot about u)" :'( I felt like crying... don't get me wrong, i wasn't angry or upset. I was relieved and at the same time shocked. Sniff* ... anyway, she helped me sneak in through the back door. heheez... the talk was so long we missed recess and most of chemistry. mr yeo wasn't too happy about it. vanessa was at my school listen to the talk too! wow... she is a prefect. haha. during my brack she came up behind me, grabbed my plate of rice and started eating. haha. our friends were in a state of shock. (-.-''') just because we are from different school doesn't mean we dont know each other. haha. after chemistry we had another talk, carreer talk. so lame, we slept throughout. I dont know how i anyhow answer question still can win a calender. (-.-''') thanks, but now is almost the middle of the year still giving calenders. After school, stayed back to go through with the cadets the red cross day procedures. They seem to know what is supposed to happen so i hope nothing goes wrong on that day for both npcc and RC. Some junior bought for us a VERY big chocolate cake so we ended up giving three big slices to our YOs. haha. At night had tkd. Exercise abit... that's all for my friday.

Satuday, we hike up bukit timah. Ginni and i remembered the place from our OAC days. haha.it was quie boring just walking. luckily we had some major obstacles to cross. unfortunatley, one junior cut herself attempting to climb over a fence. Later, we had to go down this steep slope. A few of us (inc. ginni and i) stationed ourselves at points on the slope to help the cadets down. actually, i have a slight phobia of heights. I couldnt show it as it would not look good for the juniors to see. Luckily, some of my friends knew and helped me. hehheez. after the hike i went to eat at this jap rest. with my oarents. the food was great. it think i'm going to put on weight because of that. 4.15pm went to church. reached early cos got usher duty. I dressed up as a boy! Shirt and tie! COOL!!! I bought them at a guy department store. I really looked like a guy! so happy! I think I'm obsessed with looking like guy (-.-'''). haha. so glad. after that i went to play pool with my friends. went home later, slept late.

Sunday: mummy and daddy left home at 7pm to catch their flight to beijing. later, i left for my church child care duty... nothing much to talk about. my sunday was just homework, studies and exercise. with all the exercise i do i'm still not losing weight...

I know this is long but i dont want my blog rotting away. haha...

Two types of anger

2005-04-14T06:53:00.000-07:00

I think my feelings kinda exploded inside me last sunday. I don't usually express my feelings so opening especially if I am feeling sad or upset. I didn't have an outlet so my cooped up feelings were just tough to bear for that moment. I used to be good at supressing my feelings but since I just got it back, I have to get used to controlling them again. I think I'm getting the hang of it. Its been a year since I got a chance to feel upset, angry or sad and I think I handled it quite well. I managed to hide it so well my dad didn't even know that I was upset. Sometimes, I think my acting is too good for my own good. At least I'm no longer so numb.

Today, we let someone else command during morning assembly for the first time. First time for her to command, first time for us to put her up there. Yesterday when we practiced during training, she was loud enough for me to hear her from the back of the hard court. This morning, she was just talking to herself! I was standing in the front but I could hardly hear her. The reserve commander at the back of her later told me that she was nervous. RIGHT!!! She didn't look nervous at all. She looked so calm and IGNORANT! I'm never going to put her up there again. There was no effort seen. I really wanted to make the two ommanders switch places half-way. I really hope the next few commanders will do much better. At least show some effort. . .

Angry...

2005-04-11T21:57:00.000-07:00

Last sunday after service at the indoor stadium, my parents, their cell friends and I went for lunch. I wish I never went but I had to cos they were going to send me straight to taekwondo grading. The first thing which made me upset was that my dad scolded me for smsing. We were moving tables and how do u expect me to stone at a table while waiting for my parents to find another table? (we moved table 3 times!) When we finally settled down, my father (as usual) went around talking to everyone else. My blood started to boil when my mum turned to me and ask why i havent bought my food yet. (o.O)!!! We moved table THREE times how do u expect me to have time to walk around to buy food when i had to stay at the table and reserve seats? ok... so my mum sent me to buy food for myself. After walking a few rounds round the endless hawker centre, I received a call from my dad telling me to back to my seat cos he ordered chicken rice. The moment i sat down, my mum said," where is your food? daddy did not order chicken rice for u only for us (she and her cell friends). Go and buy your food" (O.o) When I walked past my dad's table he told me to sit down as he ordered my share and to tell mum that i dont have to buy my food. The internal bomb in me was about to explode. At my seat my mother insisted that she didnt order chicken rice for me as I didnt like and i was worried about being fat. What the F***!!! I'm not my sister! I can eat anything! Even if I'm worried about gaining weight I would not be so rude as to buy something else when everyone is eating the same thing! I have eaten the worst of everything and even ended up in a beijing hospital under drip because of food poisioning and I can't take chicken rice??!!! I tried to make her see my point of view and since my blood was already boiling i wasn't calm enough to put it across in a nice way. My parents SERIOUSLY lack communication, SERIOUSLY!!! My sister was out with her cell friends somewhere else. I wished the i was out to, anywhere just away from them. I rather eat alone. I bought some friend carrot cake just for show. At that time, i really didnt feel like eating anymore. My internal bomb had jus exploded. I could feel the tears starting to fill my eyes and immediately I stopped them. I was getting good at stopping my tears, too good. The fired carrot cake looked nice but it didnt taste nice, nothing did. I forced food down my throat because I had to. Because I couldnt express my feelings out, my heart took double the pain. After one long year of feeling so numb and many months for emotional and spiritual healing, I can finally feel again. When I'm getting used to having feelings again, I have to feel pain. i guess it all comes together to make u who u are. *Note: Pls don't get the wrong idea, I didn't fall into depression* ... So while I tried to force feed myself, I really need a friend to help me carry this burden. I told my friend i would call my friend later to talk to my friend about this problem. Later, i realised i couldnt call my friend because I had grading. after that, I had simmered down so i couldnt bring myself to talk about it... Yupz... so now u know why i didnt call.
Anyway, I think I should have passed my grading cos the examiner never ask us to redo so it should be fine. results will be out in a few weeks time. I'll update again soon...

Bad, very bad

2005-04-07T04:08:00.000-07:00

Recently, I found out the my parents read my diary. So, I'm going to write in my blog instead of my diary. My parents are not very IT savvy so they won't be able to read this. However, now my father know all about me; all the things I never told him before, all the things I don't intend to tell him, all my personal secrets. He know my past, the past part of me which i'm trying to hide... I dead... so dead... I'll see how things turn out. Now i'm hiding my diary in plain sight, i hope its safe enough.
Anyway, now i know lending your friends your phone is not safe. one of my committee member took my phone and happily open my inbox and saw alot of smses from a friend. Now my committee is suanning me. its NOT funny, not funny at all. jus because that friends is also coming to help with some other unit stuff they have some weird ideas... (o.O) not funny...
Today, Mrs Kong(principal) said that my commanding is good. I never expected her to say such things. I believe that my unit cadets are as capable. That's all for today. I got lots of hw to do so i gtg. Tmr is 2.4 run, wish me luck

2005-03-28T18:39:00.000-08:00

Wednesady is promotion ceremony. I am SO nervous. I really want to get promoted to SWO but I know full well that it will not be so. I passed my ULP but I didn't manage to get any silver badge. I have about 3 or 4 bronze badges but not a single silver badge. I missed a chance to go to Israel with my family just to be able to sit for my RCK silver and i failed it. I have not received the result yet but I know that I have failed. I will be contented no matter what rank I receive. If I got a double, i would be sergeant. At least its better than lance. I will continue to hope until I see my rank. who ever is reading my blog now please don't tell any of my YOs what I said. I need an outlet for me to express myself and not be restricted.
I'm ready to scold a few cadets on wednesday. It is always the same few who are incompetent. Someone (she's from EDC, guess who) told me not to buy her another Red Cross name tag cos she is changing her name. (O.o)!!! She happily told me that last wednesady. So what name tag is she going to wear on the uniform? Definately NOT her school nametag. I can't stand her. We all can't... I have to put her down for one for flag raising in school assembly cos she is an upper sec cadets but we all fear that she will make the same mistakes again. To make sure she listens, I put her with Ginni. I know Ginni is not happy about it but ginni is the only one who can control her and have the energy to scold her. If she dares kick the flag or let it touch the floor again, not only will ginni and i kill her but so will the principal, dm and our YOs. I hope the cadets will not make things difficult this wednesday. I am so nervous and scared, but yet hopeful.

English essay

2005-03-19T16:01:00.000-08:00

In Feburary, my english class had to do an English essay on the most tense situation we ever experienced in our life. We had to write everything in no more than 170 words. Here it is...

It was supposed to be a game but it felt so real, too real. We had to help the people who came with the intention to destroy us. As the Red Cross Ambulance Service, we had to unbiasedly go out to rescue the injured no matter which side they come from. While we set up the stretchers in preparation for casualties, our other teammates were outside hiring mercenaries to protect us. I was about to call them in when they started running away. The terrorist had started shooting us without any warning. The mercenaries had no ammunition to fight back and I saw my friends fall before my eyes. The rest were in the safety of our base but I had to do something. To go out meant risking getting shot at but there were casualties outside; they were injured, not dead. No one wanted to go out but we had to take the risk. With the stretcher in hand I walked straight into the war zone.

For those who are wondering. This is a scene from OPS 123, EDC 2004. My team is Delta (dynamite) and we were the RCAS. (Ps: If you are not from EDC don't bother trying to understand what I'm talking about, I don't think you'll get it)

CA week

2005-02-28T17:42:00.000-08:00

This is going to be a very stressful week. CA started today and today last year's O'level students came back to collect their results. My school did quite well. My direct seniors (they are Sec 4A 2004 I am Sec 4A 2005) average score is 10. Lowest is 7. Highest is 18. All can go JC. I wish I can get 7 marks... I really want to go to VJC. . . I have to go and study already. No point talking about my day. Its so boring i dont like to write about it. I rather write about something meaningful and from my heart. Now, I'm just feeling to numb. so cold... It reminds me of something which happened more than a year (almost two years) ago. It took me more than a year to get over the issue. I have moved on and I will not turn back, no more.

This is me

I will not fall

but if I do

I will stand up again

2005-02-07T21:01:00.000-08:00

Today I was supposed to have a math test but mrs fung forgot. phew! Went for CLB lesson. The teacher does not have any materials and ended up giving us her own exercises. Because I'm the only express stream girl in the class I got the hardest paper of all. Almost cried when I saw it. When I attempted to read it I stumbled a few time but I managed to roughtly understand what it was about. She can and read the compre to me and I understood fully so I could do the questions. Then she said that my chinese is quite good. HAHA!!! crap... she really doesn't know me... All my cousins from my father's side (I'm closer to them) got A for their chinese. [A-> Absent] haha. During break time I rushed to complete my Chemistry and Physics worksheets. Pure physics is just So difficult. anyway, rushed for SS lesson. Presented the chapter to the class. I think I'm not bad a speaker but miss tan kept on cutting in. . . Same teacher for history. So boring. Still got test during the last 20mins. SAQ-13m. Comparing the UNO and LoN. ( only the history students will undersatand what i'm talking about) Last lesson of the day!!! --> Biology! boring... haha. stayed back for lit lesson (9th subject).
After lit i immediately went for Red Cross CIP work. help pack oranges. haha. Then went for briefing and left for blk 3 to visit the old folks. The two ladies yj and i visited are so nice and friendly but I had to speak in mandarin with them. Ms Lee and Ms Foo were obviously trying not to laugh. (-.-"') I tried. . . have so much holiday hw to complete... now talking to shaun and ern. shaun keep going on and offline. wait... now he's completely offline... haha. i'll TRY to enjoy my CNY...

Time is precious

2005-02-04T02:54:00.000-08:00

Now i'm trying to squeeze a little time into my busy day to blog. Friday is the most tiring day of the week. Firstly, I have pe in the morning. In the afternoon, we have pt at 3pm before Red Cross training starts. At 3.30pm, we start training and end at 5.30pm. Rush home, have dinner, bathe and rush off for taekwondo training until 10pm. On Saturady, I have wake up at 8am to swim until 9.30am. So tiring. Have to bathe and go for tkd now. Blog again another time. Got to run...

I'm back

2005-01-31T03:42:00.000-08:00

I didnt have time to update my blog as i was too busy studying. so sorry. anyway, on saturday i went to watch the rc talentime. none of my school's cadets knew that place so we ended up following the vsrccu boys there. when we were reaching the place, the stc girls 'disappeared'. the boys and the 2 unity girls decided to use the underpass but we jay walked. haha. later on, reinaldo aka botak called me and asked how to get to the place. i just blindly followed the vsrccu boys so i roughly told him how to go there. luckily, he went to that place before. the performances were great. i thought the ri dance and drama was nice but somehow they didn't win. i had to go up on stage to collect the certificate of participation but the mc called out the wrong school and chij tp and chij stc was mixed up. heheezz... but we still smiled for the camera. Later, i was supposed to rush back to bukit merah to have dinner with my church friends and sister. so, i took the same train as shaun. so funny... his bro called and then spoke to me. shane is so lame. haha. in the mrt shaun and i talked about some lame stuff. cant remember what they were but i know we talked but the entry point into VJC. haha... i think i'm getting lamer... haha.... test tmr; chemistry. wednesday got phy test but tmr i still going hq to collect the badges.

Too busy

2005-01-11T20:50:00.000-08:00

I'm back! School started already so I had no time to update my blog. Mugging for o'levels this year. I want to go to VJC! (don't ask me why cos i don't know either) today doreen ma'am came to my school to give the upper sec a briefing on what to expect when they go down to pack the bags for the tsunami victims. I managed to give her my camp report, YEAH!!! FiNaLlY! ! ! hahaa... this thurs i'll be going down to pack. I think we didn't get in to the RC talentime cos they didn't call. oh well... at least we tried. hope alot of sec 1s will join RC. really dont want the unit to die when we(sec4) leave. . .

2004-12-20T13:47:00.000-08:00

Just came back from Japan!!! Yeah... so fun. haha. Mark, u wanted me to write about my experiences right? ok, here goes. . .
Japan was very cold but I really enjoyed the weather. We left Singapore on saturday but reached on sunday at around 8am. My host, Aki, had tennis competition so her parents came to pick me. We went to the sky garden and then for lunch. I could not speck jap and they could not speak much english but we still understood each other in the end. haha. went to their home, unpacked (I got my own room) and fell asleep. Later i found out that amanda fell asleep on her luggage while unpacking. Haha... we did not sleep much on the plane ride to japan. I wanted to sleep but i did not know how to set up my bed. so embarassing, my jap parents had to set it for me. heheez... then, i fell asleep. Later Aki and her sister, Mika, came home from tennis practise. wah! they are SO pretty! especially mika... both can become super models. the little brother, masaya, so cute! we had a delicious dinner. the mother cooks well. only Aki and papa(my jap mum is mama and jap dad is papa) can speak english. they got a shock when i said that my mother works and my father stays at home and takes care of the house. complete role reverse from the japanese. We had to wake up at 5.30am to go to school. 1 hour train ride and a very tiring 15 mins walk. crammed in the train and have to walk a very long flight of stairs to the school. The lessons were conducted in japanese and we were placed at the back so we basically slept throughout the entire day except lunchtime. no canteen, packed lunch. 45 min for lunch. haha. on wed we went to chinatown instead. that was the coldest day in the winter. but it was fun. everyday, the school ends at 3.30. Aki and i go for tennis practise until 5.5o and rush to get changed cos the school closed at 6. by the time we reach home it is around 7pm already. we eat dinner, talk bathe and sleep, around 10.30pm. w managed to go shopping om thurs cos they dismiss early. not much cos everything was so expensive. On Friday, there were any talks but it was all in japanese so the singapore students did not understand anything. we ended up sleeping at the back of the lecture hall. the second talk was by a blind lady. my host and i were sitting at the front but we still fell asleep(she was blind!). when mama asked what we did in school that day we just said that we slept the whole day. haha. at night, we went shopping again but the things were cheaper so i really shopped. haha. got things for my mother, father, sister, cell leader and best friend(dalston). haha. japanese stuff. mama bought an entire tea set for my family cos my mother likes green tea, so nice. she also bought jap biscuits for me. i wanted to pay for it but she kept on saying it was a present so i could not refuse. paisae.... haha... on sat we went sea paradise. it was un. not as crowed as disneyland or disneysea but very little rides. my fav rides is free fall, jet coaster and viking ship. i sat jet coaster 2 times in a row and viking 4 times. then i was dizzy and felt like vomitting. haha but it was fun. sunday we had to wake up at 5am cos the airport train arrives at 7.26am. We were so sad. aki cried but i'm not the crying type even though i felt sad. the jap girls gave us so many presents. i really miss then... I want to return to japan agian if possible

2004-12-06T01:37:00.000-08:00

I was supposed to update my blog but I was too busy to do so. Yesterday just came back from taekwondo competition, got 3rd(bronze). haha. not bad considering my bout only had 4 people. Anyway, the most important things first, EDC!!!

Day1
I arrived at campsite at 0645. So early, no delta members arrived yet. Sit one side and stone. Then people started pouring in. Finally mark arrived complaining that my 1.5l waterbottle was very heavy for him. haha... sry, (thanks anyway mark). Later, when almost everyone arrived delta only had 5 present, smallest group. Patricia had not arrived yet and she HAD to come. why? SHE HAD THE FLAG!!! She was late but at least she had the flag. Scare us half to death only... Now, we had six people, still the smallest group. Nevermind, easier for group bonding and taking attendance. Everyone was ok but we could not really tolerate someone in the group. Always talk back to instructors and quite rude. The only good thing he had done for us was to help us finish our food. ok, so we went on to flag raisng and bag check. End up having to turn in my handphone and charger to sir. haha.. nvm, come to camp to enjoy and cut off from the outside world.
later, ice breaker. Actually, it was only for us to know our group mentors as we knew each other quite well from the pre-camp meetings. Desmond sir made us ask group memders 5 things about each other. We ask lame questions only. haha. Later Huda ma'am did pole dance for us. So sporting. great ma'am. thats the sprirt! The sirs kept on trying to snatch our flag, I learn from ULP that no matter what happens don't ever let go of the flag.
OA lessons. David sir conducted the lessons, just like in OAC. interesting, my favourtie subject in RC but been through it four times. (OAC, unit RC, OBS and now) someone was crapping during the lesson and can tell that Desmond sir was not too happy with it. Mark and I were trying to see who did the worst lashings, haha. Finding fault with each other. haha. so funny, reminds me of my little brother. hahaa... David sir kept on wanting to tie mark to the flag pole. Go sir! I support u! haha.. kidding
Obstacle course. We started off badly. took longer than the other groups as we wanted to tie the improvised stretcher properly so the 'casualty' will not fall as hurt herself. Someone irritated Doreen ma'am. (bad move) she was willing to give him a chance. Throughout the course we stuck together as a team. Later at the spider web, I was blind, Sze yin could nto walk and Samuel's hand was immobilized. (because of the previous game) they carried me over the spider web. wow! cannot believe it. I SO! heavy they still can do it... wah!.... I really wished I was not the blind one, should ahve chosen a lighter person, i made my group members suffer for nothing... so later the blind(me) was sitting one side when Doreen ma'am came over to talk to Desmond sir who was looking after the blind. I heard other group members shouting that if u are kidnapped scream but never expected Doreen ma'am to do so. She refused to let me scream. All she said was, " U are being kidnapped". I know i was being led upstairs and sat alone in a classroom. later desmond sir came. phew! ma'am said that my group members were not taking care of me. I said sir was so she let me go. double phew!! hmmm... my buddy cracked in my pocket so my track pants was eggy. Haha...
EHL. Doreen ma'ams teaching was nice. The topic was a new topic therefore interesting but a little dry(like RCK). I think the campers may not have totally enjoyed it but said they did it in a sacastic way.
Night trek. We left with high moral. Every group's flag was taken before except for dynamites'. Then.. we forgot the cotten twine so our flag was confiscated. aiya, destroy our record only. David sir was so happy when he saw our flag, " finally we have dynamite's flag." so we misinterpreted most of the clues, forgot our cotton twine, got our flag confiscated, lost our way, skipped a station and lost our score card. Bad, unluckily. But I think that if any other group in EDC had gone through what we had that night, they would not be able to pull it through as united as we did. through that whole walk, we did not argue at all but laughed and joked our way back to campsite. Not once did our moral dampen. our motto that night "we are united, it is the experiencne that counts" Bty, TAUFIK WON!
bao wei was appointed as the next day ic. Ginni and I were prepared for the worst to came. Nvm... We had debrief and went to sleep.

Day 2
The girls woke up early the next day and went to bathe. The water was freezing and I was shivering like mad. We went down to assemble and the day ic was totally blur. ok, in school she did not have much expericence but what totally angered us was that she kept making the ma'ams and sirs scold her for the same mistakes. I don't pity her, I pity the ma'ams and sirs. She never learns, they were actually very patient with her already. I wanted to scold her myself when she let the flag touch the floor and kicked the flag. If she has no respect for the organisation she is in way bother to turn up for any of the activities? If she is in Red Cross she had better respect the flag. Luckily we had eastravagenza, all of us were not in campsite for half the day if not we will die...
Eastravagenza. We were so blur about our clues that we ended up asking the mrt personel about it. She was so kind to look up the street directory and direct us there. We ended up going to three compulsory places and 1 optional place. No choice. Firstly, we had no time. secondly, we were clueless on where the places were. We had lunch at lau pa sat. The sirs were very nice. They bought 100+ for us. So nice. Thank you sirs. We ate and had to rush back to campsite. Lugan sir kept on telling us jokes. So nice to talk to him. Can tell that Desmond sir and Eugene sir were very tired. They had less sleep than us and still ahd to travel around Singapore with us. Actally, samuel and I were suposed to present but Doreen ma'am barred us from doing so. So ended up Pat and Geri had to. they were very soft but at least they tried.
Campfire preparations. Ginni (Ah beng), shaun and aaron were trying to get us to cheer along with them but someone kept on making things tough for them by answering back and not co-operating. Ah beng was so angry. Can't stand that boy, ah beng already have a sore throat still want her to shout at him.
Campfire. Really enjoyed the opening. The explosion was a little slow but it was nice. Thank you sirs and ma'ams for your effort in the campfire. It was such a fun time for all of us. I had to chase J-boy (Jazimin) all over just to pass him a blade of grass. tiring. haha... Ah beng ran all over with a candle and her group was cheering her on. haha... the ending was a little abrupt but it was nice. The activity were we had to blind fold ourselves except for two group members. We took turns helping our friends around. The David sir and desmond sir loved disturbing mark. haha. At the marching station, I thought my footdrill was bad but someone ended up commanding sze yin out of the box. At least we did not lose our score card or flag. When I was blind and holding the flag, don't know which ma'am tried to snatch the flag out of my hand. (another lesson from ULP)
Later supper that time the ic made us eat all the biscuits. Ah beng was about to explode already. I also was so angry. Luckily ma'am was nice enough to allow ua to put back the biscuits or we will die stuffing ourselves with food.(ironic way to die in camp) Desmond sir helped us finish some biscuits too. Debrief, flag lowering. Ic held us up, again. we ended up sleeping late. at night ah beng were passing some stuff across the beds as we both slept on top. Sze yin was sleeping next to me and she was at risk of getting hit by one of our flying objects. haha. i make it sound so scary. it was just some medication we were passing.

Day 3
Went to bathe again but by this time I ahve already gotten used to the cold water. No choice I stink like mad. haha... We were so glad that the ic was a different person. Haha Mark Ong haha. You were warned the day before... muahahahaha... i'm so evil. The night before he came to me and asked how to raise a flag. The ma'ams and sirs were already walking around so i asked him to ask j-boy to teach. At least he was a good ic. Luckly for him its was the last day and the instructors were not so strict.
Management crisis. this time we did not lose our score card or flag. we had a great time. We put a marshmallow in chee keong sir's shoe and made desmond sir's hair white. cleaning the table was a little disgusting but at least we could wash our hands after that. We tried to wipe the table dry with our pants but since it was waterproof it just spread the water around. Samuel had to dry it as his pants was cotton and we ended up getting scolding from Huda ma'am for not drying the table.
OPS 123. My favourite. My group was the amblance service but I think I would be better as a teroeist haha. kidding... while we were in the hospital, shaun and his group came down and started the massacre. really bad. I was shot a few time when i went out to evacuate. Huda ma'am ended up having to evacuate all the first aiders. The funnies part. Both mark and I were holdind the walkie talkies as we were in the first aid post and hospital respectively. Mark and a few more were injured so I passed my walkie talkie to someone ana went out to evacuate. i got shot and took my place next to him. He then said in to the walkie talkie, " Mark to Tammy, Where are u?" (-.-"') next to him.... he really need observation skills. funny. jus like my little brother. but we totally enjoyed ourselves.
area cleaning. organised. We girls learnt someting "don't ever ask a guy to rinse a rag for you as he will soak it in water and return the dripping cloth back". basically, we did our jobs efficiently.
Later, we managed to sabo the vs boys in leading the cheers for us and being our non flammable campfire. haha. phototaking and we all went home.

2004-11-11T23:37:00.000-08:00

Tmr i'm leaving for malaysia already. So excited! Never pack yet, haha! I can't wait to go shopping there the things are cheap. Ok... enough about tmr, how about yeaterday. Yesterday was SO enjoyable. Daddy organised a party for cell group and the new believers to come and eat popiah. actually, in the morning my sis and i were feeling so bored just stoning at home. Thank goodness Danielle called and asked us to go out to SAFRA to bowl. So funny. The first round,Kelly, Isaac, Danielle, Crystal and i were playing and Isaac kept getting strike. So lucky! Later, Jon Kwong joined us and the boys played to badly haha. In the end Jon came out with strikes and emerged the ultimate winner. Altogether, $40.80. Later, we met ben and the other boys. There was a girl with them and she was most likely evelyn. She... got that kind of face. "Slap-me face'' Argh... forget about them... ok all the pool tables were taken. oh, we saw ginni there. (I won't say who she was with 'cos i don't think she will like it) Jon came to my place to play pool. Clarence joined us, don't know how to play later tell me he want to play haha. We run so much then we go for the party. The youth there were; Jon(left early), Crystal(left early), Kelly, Terence, Clarence,Clement, Sarah, Yi Jing, Parry and I. Clarence and Terence were so noisy and childish. ok, i'm not in any position to judge. Clement and Parry quietly and shyly sat one side. wow... they made their presence felt more than clarence and terence did. Best thing, I talk to Dalston until 2.45 he talk until i cry and them he prayed for me. so comforting. i really felt God's arms around my heart last night. I thank God for you Dalston, God Bless.

First entry

2004-11-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

Hey!!! Finally I can write my blog! YeAh! Haha. Today just came back from school open house. So fun..! I was the commander for the footdrill squad and the cadets did so well. The satisfaction came when the primary school students went," WAH!" overall, it was an enjoyable but tiring time for us. Now just finished lunch and going to bathe soon. Later leaving for taekwondo class. TIRED!!!... Tomorrow still have open house. Never mind, do our best. RED CROSS ROCKS!!!

My Blog

2004-09-05T01:13:00.000-07:00